Month: February 2015

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Making those BIG decisions

Today, I was offered my old job back. It is a job that I am good at, I enjoy and has great benefits – paid holidays, steady income, and great staff. It isn’t, however, what I feel that I’m really here to do.

It’s the age-old tension between your comfort zone and chasing your dream life. Our comfort zone keeps us safe, provides us with our minimums, but doesn’t provide the excitement, passion and feeling of purpose that taking risks and constant growing and chasing our dreams gives us.

Tomorrow, I make the call that challenges me and leaves me in charge of my own success, so that I can chase my dream and be the example to my son that I want to be. How can I ask people to be inspired and chase their dreams if I do not have the integrity to do this myself? I can’t.

I want to encourage you to evaluate your comfort zone, and places where you may be able to make a few ‘BIG’ decisions to bring your life closer to that version of life that you fascinate and dream about. And then I dare you to act on those decisions.

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Where is your locus of control?

Multiple studies by psychologists  discuss the notion of a locus of control and its role in not only happiness, but health, achievement and overall wellbeing in life. First coined in 1954 by Rotter, this idea has permeated the realm of cognitive psychology in aiding people with depression and ‘learned helplessness’.

What is it? Basically it is whether people believe that they are in charge of what happens to them in their lives, or that all control is external to them (of course, beliefs may vary in different areas of life). For example, if a person is struggling to get a job a person with an INTERNAL locus of control will evaluate their behaviour, presentation, skills and manner when applying for jobs and seek to make changes. On the other hand, a person with an EXTERNAL locus of control will often find things to ‘excuse’ or ‘blame’ the events with statements of thoughts such as, “The interviewer obviously doesn’t like women”, “I was attacked by nerves (spoken as if they are an outer force)”, “The interview questions were ridiculous”, “People never understand what I’m trying to say”.

Can you see the difference? Having an external locus of control means that you perceive life as HAPPENING TO YOU, rather than you having an active control in daily and important events. Which one is more empowering? What will enable change for the better?

In saying this – it is vitally important to be aware of a tendency to couple blame and learned helplessness (self talk that becomes habitual in putting oneself down) with an internal locus of control. Of course you cannot control everything – if someone you care for falls ill, it is obviously not in your power to influence this and there should be no guilt for you. Coupling optimism and a thirst for development with a internal locus of control can be extremely empowering and inspiring, not just to the individual, but to everyone that surrounds you. Suddenly, barriers transform into challenges and opportunities!

Can you identify some of the attitudes that you tend to abide to?

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‘Zero Budgeting’ Life Application- Get things under control!

In finance there is a practice called ‘zero budgeting’ – basically, it is the allocation of your income to all of the necessities in your life (repayments, bills, hobbies, charity, etc.) as well as other important elements of your finances (such as savings, holidays, superannuation, dinners out, new clothes, etc.) planned out COMPLETELY down to the last cent. The philosophy behind this is that by allocating ALL of your income to concrete locations you:
1. Always have the money to pay for your bills as you have set these amounts aside in preparation.

2. You are conscious of your incoming and outgoing costs, not oblivious. Are less likely to make impulsive ‘splurges’ that you will later regret as you are conscious that you will be taking money away from other areas and causing problems.

3. You start to build great habits of saving and paying any debts and it will become almost ‘automatic’, as you direct debit money into the necessary places as SOON as you receive your income.

4. By not having ‘spare money’ left over after your budget, you are more likely to be purposeful with your money, rather than wasteful and ‘carefree’. This is one of the most important mindsets when it comes to financial management – the unconscious or avoidance of knowing the reality of your financial situation.

This principle is not only useful for financial positions, but also any other situation in life. If you work from home and find that you are not as effective as you would like to be – you can zero-budget your TIME into specific tasks, for example:
9:00am -09:10am Check emails and respond to ‘quick’ emails. Make a list of ‘to-do’s from the email and general tasks for the day.
9:10am-9:20am Write blog post for website/first draft of presentation/proposal etc.
In this way, you will have all of your tasks allocated to a space of time and before you know it, your to-do list will be shrinking before your eyes.

This is a great principle to apply to workouts, also – if you have a tendency to walk around the gym and waste time, allocate your exercises to minute or minute-and-a-half rounds in order to get the most out of your allocated time at the gym.

Feel free to share your experiments with zero-budgeting this week below!

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“I can’t” VS “Maybe” – reshaping your identity is the key to success

Working with LLUMI, you will hear a lot about the power of shaping your identity. It is because the way you see yourself is a precedent in the way that others perceive you. The messages that you communicate in the way that you think ‘to’ yourself (such as, “I’ve never been good at…) are layering rows of bricks in the wall of obstacles in your mind.

Do a simple test now. Get on the floor and do some push ups. Notice the difference when you think (or even say out loud) to yourself “I can’t”. Your body will instantly feel like giving up and you most likely will drop to the floor and thank your lucky stars that its over. Try it again and instead of “I can’t”, think “maybe I can” – 9 times out of 10, you will be able to do more than you did in the first round, even though you are tired from the push ups you did previously! This ‘self-talk’ is recognised not only in elite athletes, but business circles, relationship circles and basically every area where progress is needed or wanted.

For a real-life example. We have a client who is struggling with his business. He often says “I just can’t stand feeling like this anymore”. Imagine the effect that this sentence has on his physiology and the limiting ability that this would have on his attitude and efforts to put forward effective steps to rescue his business! We have been training to say “Maybe I could…” in exactly the same situations, and he has turned around many stressful and frustrating episodes into some of his greatest successes.

Try doing this in the most frustrating areas of your life – “Maybe I could… be kind to that person that I’m a rival with at work….get up 20 minutes earlier to make a healthy breakfast….go to that networking function to gain new contacts…make the phone call to my boss/wife/husband/friend….Maybe…” and then DO it! You’ll be surprised how empowered you feel.

Just try it. Maybe.

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But I don’t FEEL like it. The problem with ‘waiting’ for motivation

Most of us have VERY good intentions to be healthy or successful – to diet, to exercise, to start personal training, to open that savings account, to contact that old friend….
But then when push comes to shove….the huge emotional weight seems to overwhelm us! The bed covers feel extra comfy…it’s so warm inside…you get busy…intentions don’t always get you far.

The emotional attachment that many of us have to exercise and success can be quite extreme. But do we feel the same way about brushing our teeth in the morning? Or making your bed? Not usually! We have divorced the idea from our emotions. I’m betting that your toothbrush and shower don’t get the same death stares from you as your runners whilst you snuggle under the blankets? Or that study book that is positioned with intention on your table? So, what can we do?

DIVORCE emotion. DUMP it. BREAK UP with that nagging sh*t!

Just like personal hygiene, your body NEEDS exercise your mind NEEDS progress. So – exercise and progress in your life must become a habit, not a choice influenced by emotions. Don’t dip your ’emotional thermometer’ in before you get out of bed or jump in the car to get to your gym or schedule that meeting. Don’t even think about it! Because, as we all know, once you’re there you actually find that it isn’t that bad….it’s usually even FUN! And afterwards? You always feel amazing and inspired to do more because you have just CONQUERED something.
Now, LLUMI doesn’t usually tell their clients to NOT think about it, but in the case of pre-exercise and pre-action anxiety, we have really found that this really works.
So, give it a go. For the next seven days at least: don’t think, just do.

We promise that you’ll thank us.

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Are you getting in your own way? Be honest with your EXCUSES

How many times have you wanted to start exercising or eating right and then reasoned yourself out of it, “It’s too time consuming”, “It’s hot/cold/raining/sunny/windy”, “I’d prefer to do it in the afternoon/morning/evening”? Some may call it logic, but sometimes we are simply getting in our own way.

Our brain is programmed to protect us from harm and therefore creates a ‘hard drive’ full of experiences that we have perceived as negative and sends chemical and habitual warning signals to prevent us from entering that same danger or uncomfortable situation. This can certainly be useful – we learn not to pick up burning wood, we learn that we should be careful about choosing to say rude things about people. On the other hand, we also build walls of doubt around our ability and relatively safe (sometimes important) situations. Take joining a new exercise class for example, we hear many people talk about how nervous they are to start/they don’t know anyone/they don’t have the skills.  In itself, joining a new exercise class poses little to no harm or threat to you – but the negative momentum that is surrounding the experience in the mind far outweighs  the actual risk. In situations like these, we need to face our fears both logically and emotionally. Look at your emotions objectively (imagine yourself stepping outside of yourself and watching you do the task that causes you anxiety) and ask:

Why do you think you feel these emotions?
How legitimate are these fears?
What is the real risk that is posed here?
What is the worst that could happen?
What is the likelihood of the ‘worst’ happening?
What would be the positive effects if you completed this task?
How would you feel if you completed it well? (Really give this one some time and imagine yourself just after you have completed the task, celebrating in your own way).

It is important to give weight and recognition to the role that the mind plays in task avoidance. Writing down the answers to these questions and really giving yourself some time to imagine yourself completing your task leads to a replacement of the negative emotions that surround the experience and builds your motivation to complete or face it. Give this a go one day this week – even if it a very small thing that you find yourself hesitating to do.
I even did it when I was about to write this blog post – so easy to doubt yourself and avoid doing it! C’mon – get into the habit of achieving small victories everyday! Post your progress when you’ve done something you would usually hesitate to do!