Is Self-Care Selfish?

 

Many people that we talk to mention that they ‘simply don’t have time’ to take care of themselves, as the demands of life pull on them from all directions. The result: frustration, resentment, exhaustion, helplessness and a loss of self-esteem. Many people, especially those with others who depend on them (family, friends, children, etc.) see self-care as something that will be done once all of the other tasks of the day/week are done. Putting yourself first is often described as narcissistic, selfish, and ego-driven. However, we firmly believe (and we see everyday) that taking care of yourself actually enables you to help others more effectively. This is done in two ways:

1. You are replenished in your energy, vitality and confidence – this gives you more ‘fuel’ with which you can do the other tasks that must be completed. You know that you WILL get these tasks done and taking an hour or two out for yourself really won’t impact the fact that the necessity tasks will be done.
2. You model the importance of self-care and independence to others – by taking care of yourself, you show others that they, too can take action to enrich their lives. If you are a bit of a ‘doormat’ to the people in your lives, you are actually creating a relational habit where you are the ‘giver’ and they are the ‘needy’. Whereas by demonstrating your own importance and your recognition of that importance with your time, others see that they can do the same thing for themselves, and they will value your time even more.

In effect, then, taking care of yourself not only fuels you so that you are more able to function effectively in all aspects of your life, it helps you to create healthy relationship patterns and inspire others to enrich their own lives and give themselves permission to enjoy themselves and the time they have each day.

So, weather it is working out, meditating, reading a book, swinging on a swing – something that centres you – make it a priority. The simple fact is that you NEED to take care of yourself or you will be of little use to anyone!