Month: October 2016

These days, everyone is looking for a shortcut. We take pills, join fads, get surgeries, and any other method to get where we want to be without having to work hard for it. However, the PLEASURE that we gain from these superficial accomplishments are often very short lived. For example, after bariatric surgery (where patients have bowel adjustments for weight loss and diabetes control), almost half have gained significant weight in the following five years. Why? We can talk about many factors in relation to this – hard work builds habits, it also builds appreciation and respect for oneself (this is a general statement and we acknowledge that there are many factors when considering bariatric surgery that aren’t related to ‘effort’ to lose weight). Going through the motions and building healthy habits add to one’s character and may be classified as fitting in to the ‘gratification’ definition as provided by Martin Seligman in his book Authentic Happiness, where he compares ‘pleasurable’ experiences that relate simply to obtaining a fleeting ‘good feeling’ to ‘gratification’ which relates to using your strengths and energies into a kind and meaningful act (either to oneself or to others). Thus, it is important to build your level of self-awareness to be investing your energies not simply in the fleeting pursuit of flattering your ever-changing moods, but seeking your deeper needs of health, satisfaction, integrity and confidence and aligning your goals and actions with these. A deeper, lasting and more resilient state of ‘happiness’ is scientifically proven to result.

The trend of ‘cleansing’ one’s body and mind is becoming more and more popular right now – it’s a bit of a buzz word, perhaps due to the connotations that accompany it. The word implies a new start, freshness, health and cleanliness. Could this cleansing be applied to an entire lifestyle? What if we carried the application of cleansing our bodies of toxins to cleansing our relationships and social network from toxic people? What if we applied it to disengage from our toxic jobs that we don’t enjoy and dread every Sunday evening? Surely, there is logic in this, too. So often we put up with relationships and situations that we actually have a lot of control over – yet we sit in suffering and resentment. So many scientific studies have demonstrated the emotional and physical damage to our health by maintaining stressful and toxic relationships and circumstances. So why do we put up with it?

Perhaps it is because our culture tells us that prioritising ourselves is narcissistic and selfish. However, if you are enriched by those around you, you are enriched and encouraged to help others more meaningfully. If we run on a drained amount of energy, we are less willing to give, to care, to love – for ourselves and others. Thus, the spiral begins. At some point, it is really important to evaluate your relationships and circumstances – implement possible improvements, taking a break or simply ending an arrangement if it is not salvageable. Sometimes, saying goodbye allows you to say hello to so much more.

Within most of us, there is a yearning to live a life that satisfies us emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and socially. Yet, so many of us are living hour-to-hour, day-to-day, week-to-week just “getting by” with a vague hope that someday life will be what we want it to be. That all this hard work and ‘grind time’ will blossom into our dream life – almost by accident! Yes, there are times in life when hard work is necessary, but without a definite goal and a structure to exit upwards, the monotony may simply continue and you will find yourself looking back and resenting all of that time spent grinding away with no direction. The discipline of ‘mindfulness’ can come in very handy here. Treating your everyday routines as rituals, being present and thoughtful about what you are doing and recognising beauty in the world around you can assist you in feeling less pressured in your current state. Also, putting aside time each day or week to plan and set goals that lead you towards your dream life will ensure that these many hours of work can be selected (and perhaps shortened) to make sure that you are efficient in how you are getting to your ‘better life’. As I have mentioned before, incorporating the things that are able to be implemented NOW, rather than when everything else is ready, is also a great way to get your mind focused and on track to living with purpose and satisfaction.

So, if you feel like you are simply pressing through the days and the motions, perhaps it is time to stop and re-evaluate where your daily habits, hobbies and routines are taking you for the future and adjust accordingly!

Whilst it is important to recognise certain ‘seasons’ and your own personal limits, often we give way too much emotional and mental attention to slight obstacles or opposition that present themselves in our path. Sometimes we are so afraid of success that we almost hope for excuses to come our way to interrupt our path and tell us that it ‘wasn’t meant to be’. However, as with recognising the appropriate seasons within our life, we also must learn to be resilient and flexible. If something seems to stand in your way, view it as an opportunity. Inspire yourself with inspirational role models who overcome adversity which makes yours pale in comparison (there are so many who do!) and decide to become one of those inspirational people yourself. Obstacles are a chance for you to achieve what you want in a way that will teach you more about yourself and the importance of persistence in the process. There will ALWAYS be obstacles. There will always be days when it feels impossible to peel yourself from the bed or the couch or your daydream. We have all experienced this before – even the best have to learn to push through this fog in order to come out on top. Do not sit and wait for motivation, sitting and waiting are more likely to repel motivation than simply starting on a simple task that is related to your goal. Goal-oriented activity is all about momentum. Start on a small and menial task that takes very little mental or physical power. Your brain will shift into gear and soon you will be ‘on a roll’ and the bigger tasks will seem much more manageable. That is why it is always important to have small and large tasks on your ‘to-do’ success list, for those days that just feel like they are asking way too much. This practice is called ‘chunking’ and the world’s most efficient and creative people use it to get their stuff done. Can’t go wrong!