Month: November 2016

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As touched upon in yesterday’s post, attitude is key in developing the mindset, habits and personality that is required to meet goals. We are sure that you have heard the phrase, “fake it ‘til you make it”, but what we recommend is going beyond that. With your constant visualisations each morning and week as you set and reflect upon your plans, actions and goals, you are aligning your attitude with the certainty of fulfilling these dreams. What we tend to advise is a clear visualisation of how you would feel when you arrive at the moment when you recognise that you have accomplished a goal. Then you bring that emotion into the present and you allow that confidence and assurance to remain in your mood-set for the day. You have the knowledge that this is a part of your plan and your story – thus, your confidence, satisfaction, self-esteem and anticipation all build to support a new ‘you’ that is already borrowing that excitement from your certain future. It mirrors the feeling of booking a well-deserved holiday a few months in advance; every time you think about it, you feel lighter, happier and certain that you will enjoy it. The anticipation brings so much joy, relaxation and happiness for that longer period of time. Harness this practice with your goals and you will see a marked improvement in your moods and sense of motivation in your journey to your goals.

Around this time of year, life can get stressful – there’s a lot to plan for Christmas, you may have friends and family visiting, shopping for gifts and festive catering can be stressful both financially and time-wise. Children may be finishing school and are home a lot more, you may go on vacation and living in each other’s pockets could be a source of new tensions. Whatever your scenario, this time of year brings challenges – however, it is also a great opportunity to check in with how your perspective alters your experience of your life. If you focus on the negative elements – of how annoying a certain situation is – rather than choosing to allow the positive to have a stronger influence upon your mood and behaviour (appreciating how warm the Summer is, or how magical it is to have the snow falling – depending on your location in the world!), you run the risk of rushing around and doing the busy work that we have been talking about and not enjoying the season for what it is – a time to relax. Yes, there may be lots to be done and disagreements or tensions are bound to arise, however if you have given yourself time to plan and organise yourself, asked some people in your life for help at key stages and you haven’t unnecessarily overcomplicated things by planning too many events, you can free up some of your mind to sit down and enjoy the new company, the time off, your loved ones. Just make sure that your focus is on the positive, and not a constant to-do list or resentment spiral.

As the end of the year approaches, the feeling of a fresh start and New Year Resolutions begin to dawn on us. With a new year, the opportunity of creating a new ‘you’ arises. However, it has become almost cliché that these resolutions, and the motivation that fuels them, die after an initial surge of enthusiasm. So, how can you safeguard your plans to become a healthier, more profitable and happier version of yourself? The two keys are visualisation and planning. Many of us have areas in our lives that we would describe as weaknesses, things that we struggle to maintain self-accountability for and often find ourselves self-sabotaging. When planning to conquer obstacles in these areas, it is often best to outsource and invest in an accountability partner or program. One example of this might be to ‘lock in’ to a fitness challenge or group that requires bookings and minimum attendance (usually with someone who will notice that you are not there and will contact you for a no-show), organise the delivery of fresh, healthy groceries or meals to reset the craving habits of your body, create a morning schedule with an accountability tick off list or app to help get you going in the day, etc. It also helps to sit down and write how you expect to see yourself going through these tasks on a day-to-day basis from the feeling of waking up in the morning and looking at your day plan, to the pain of the last repetition of exercise in a set. Visualise the mundane tasks and the beauty of the reward at the end – buying a new piece of clothing in your ideal size, waking up with more vitality, finishing a half-marathon, finishing a project at work – the list goes on. If you do not have a solid plan that feeds into habits to take you to your goal, you risk repeating the same mistakes and ‘losing’ motivation among the crowds of other resolutionists. What will you do to prevent this?

We all have ‘busy tasks’ – things that we must do each day that are essential, but aren’t tangibly linked to our bigger goals. These things may include cleaning the house, laundry, paperwork for bills, personal emails, etc. We all must do these things, but they can be frustrating and drawn out if not put in your schedule consciously. Our advice is this: Deal with it once, deal with it once and deal with it completely. For example, I clean the house every evening after putting my two sons to bed (a wipe down and vacuum, dishes, put away laundry). I set my sand timer (1 hour) and get to work, knowing that I will not do more housework after that sand timer has stopped. Surprisingly, knowing that this is the time limit gives me more momentum to get the task done and I often finish with lots of time to spare. With the toys or things I use through the day, they get put back as soon as we finish using them – so the stress isn’t big at any point in time. If you are more of a ‘once-a-week-cleaner’, then set aside a scheduled time each week to give your place a clean. This helps as you don’t potter around at many times during the day or week cleaning so you feel like you are ‘always’ cleaning the house. Keep the task contained and free your mental space from that tasks for the rest of the time. The same goes for emails; I set two times of the day to check personal and business emails and deal with them instantly – if it is a bill, I pay it or set a reminder in my phone for when it is due and any other information and then I delete/file the email out of my inbox, if it is something that needs a response – I respond instantly and write any action points in my diary if necessary, and the email is deleted. In this way, I don’t feel as though I am ‘always’ available on my email, but I know that I am on top of things and I don’t need to worry about them at any other time. What tactics do you have in your household or are there any ideas that you think could improve your productivity and mental space?

Image Credit: Lorna Jane

In recent consultancy dealings with people looking to build their businesses, there is a general hesitation in the people that we are dealing with to charge adequate or premium prices for services and goods. They feel that their time, effort and products are not ‘worthy’ enough of the price tag suggested. There is a fear that they aren’t as good as the others on the same market. However, these are often people will years of experience, attention to detail, a passion for their craft and a real enthusiasm to succeed in business. So, why do we undervalue our time? The reality is, if you undercharge for your great service, you will usually attract a clientele that do not necessarily appreciate quality, but will look around constantly seeking the cheapest service. Since these people are often not invested in brand loyalty, they are the most likely to cancel, rearrange and complain at the same time. However, if you set your prices at a premium, people will recognise the value of what you are providing, are far more likely to respect the time that you have allocated to the task and also recommend your great work to others. This is not just the case for business. If you perpetually make yourself available to friends and family to do whatever they request, laying no boundaries or limits, you may find yourself being taken advantage of – your time and effort not being valued or made a priority. This is not always the case, however if we know someone will ALWAYS be there, we don’t rush to see them and ensure that the time we set aside is free no matter what, do we? The central message is not to rip people off or tell people you can’t see them, but create appropriate boundaries and conditions in your life. Give people your ideal availability to see them, ask others in the industry to set your price point and follow through with that. Your time is valuable and you are valuable.

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The way in which we view ourselves in relation to our circumstances has a powerful impact upon the story that we tell ourselves about life, and our subsequent attitude and reactions. If you interpret every situation as ‘happening to you’, rather than seeing yourself as an active and powerful agent in your life that can influence circumstances, you are playing a victim role in your life. You give power over to the external influences and simply react to what happens. On the flip side, if you view yourself as the main influence in the events of your life, you see yourself as a powerful element in the world, able to control and change circumstances through your attitude and actions. As I’m sure you can appreciate, seeing the world and your circumstances as something that you can affect powerfully is much more motivating, empowering and beneficial to chasing your specific goals. Try to identify your patterns of thinking today and the way that you speak about situations. Are you giving yourself a sense of control and agency in your life – being a victor? Or do you see yourself on the receiving end of life – a victim mentality?

We can all have high ideals and good intentions, but if the basics of life aren’t taken care of adequately, we can often frustrate our own progress without realising it. Sleep, food, exercise and self-esteem are the foundations that we ensure are generally in order before progressing to chasing higher ideals. If you are constantly exhausted, you are more likely to procrastinate, become irritable, perform poorly and make ill-considered decisions. Ideally, 7-9 hours of sleep is recommended to allow your body to mentally and emotionally process your day, repair any damage, reduce cortisol (stress hormone) levels and energise you for the next day. Fuelling your body with healthy food is just as vital – attempting to run on low-quality, nutrient-abandoned food is asking for miracles that your body is simply incapable of performing. Colourful, fresh and minimally processed food gives your body and mind the vitality to think, repair and perform at its peak – naturally providing you with the sense of energy that will assist in boosting your motivation to achieve other goals. Exercise is shown to provide MORE energy and increase one’s metabolism – often providing sorely needed ‘me’ time where thinking and focus allow you to practice overcoming boundaries and challenging yourself which can be transferred to other areas of your life. Self-esteem encompasses far more than it implies – it does not signify a huge ego, but a healthy respect and estimation of self. You must love yourself first, or you will not respect yourself enough to stay accountable to your own promises and plans and you will find yourself trying to gain acceptance from those around you, rather than performing in self-acceptance and quiet confidence that you will succeed. So, if there are any of these elements that are unbalanced in your life – seek to take tangible steps today and this week to re-balance them, and watch your other goals benefit from it.

The daunting mass of a big task or goal that we want to accomplish can often trigger procrastination and fear within us. Often, we worry about finding out that the task is too challenging for us to complete, and it is far more comfortable to have it sitting in the future with the possibility that we can achieve it at some later date. Our sense of capability is at stake, and by getting started, we may truly find out how much work there is to do. Does this sound familiar? Reading it in words should also help you to see how unhelpful this way of thinking is. Our fear of failure – or of success and a realisation of work to do – is often crippling to our dreams. The best advice that was ever given to me was, “Just Get Started”. Sometimes, we do realise that the workload will be much bigger than anticipated, but once you begin, you will find a sense of momentum or at least an ability to plan out steps of action that are necessary and can be completed in small chunks. The relief and satisfaction of actually getting started will feel like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders and you find a new sense of direction, purpose and drive has been waiting for you in the tasks that will take you towards your goal. Drafting and sending out resumes to new job positions, signing up for gym classes, registering your very own business, sending in a script for publication – all of these things are monumental start points, loaded with potential and motivation. By putting of the beginning, you are allowing your dreams to become perpetually in the future. And, one day, you will look back – probably blaming numerous circumstances – and wonder, what if? Wouldn’t you rather look back on the risks you took, the lessons you learned and appreciate all the doors that you opened for yourself?

The days of social media bring a tempting platform to project a life of perfection and joy, especially when a lot of your mind is concerned with chasing and achieving goals. Spending too much time in this online world, however, can cause some significant issues in life. It has become a common trend to do things simply to have a photo or to document them for social media – being present and enjoying the moment often takes a secondary priority, or is forgotten altogether. Yesterday, I saw a bus stop advertisement as I was driving by saying “Outfit Instagrammed 3 times? Time to revolve!” suggesting that you should on-sell or get rid of anything that has appeared ‘too often’ in your public profile. Surely, living life shouldn’t be dictated by what someone may have noticed once or twice before!? Studies have shown that the constant comparison of our real lives to the false and projected lives on social media are wreaking havoc on self-esteem, feelings of purpose and agency and a sense of self-worth. So, we are calling you to be real – bring your struggles and your victories to social media if you choose to document parts of your life. Don’t let your story be one-sided and false, but share your real journey. Or don’t! You could even consciously leave your social media alone on a few outings and see if it helps you to be more present and appreciative of the activities that you are doing. It is an individual preference and is fuelled by many different motivators, however, be careful that the presentation and depiction of your life on a social media platform isn’t robbing you of the opportunity to really live your life. This also goes for face to face relationships, opening up to people and sharing what you are struggling with often allows others to do the same. If you pretend that everything is perfect in life (sometimes it is!), you can limit the ability for others to be honest with you and relate with you on a more fundamental level. This isn’t to say you should always be negative – rather, sharing problems and looking for positive solutions together may be a way of building strong and supportive relationships that are much more effective in elevating your sense of connection and agency. So, today’s challenge is to be real with someone when you are tempted to falsely portray a life of perfection.

It is tempting along your path to want everything RIGHT NOW, rather than waiting and saving to invest in quality programs, products and lifestyles. For example, one of your goals may be to have a fitness tracker – however you want one so much that you go and buy a cheap and unreliable version which you find useless and uninspiring. It is probably better to do your research, plan to obtain the one that REALLY suits your needs, appeals to you visually and will inspire you to stay on track with your fitness goals. It may take you slightly longer to get one, but the rewards will outweigh the cost. It is the same with almost all things in life – if you choose to invest in a cheap personal trainer who isn’t qualified appropriately, you can expect correlating results. If you do your research and find the trainer that will cater to your specific needs, is highly qualified and experienced and dedicated to bringing you their best – your results will reflect that investment that you make and you will also find yourself more committed to your own results. When buying things for your home – it is often best to have one quality item that comes with a substantial warranty, rather than cheaper versions that constantly break and need replacement. You may believe that these cheaper versions save you money, however it is often not the case when you think of the sub-par performance, repairs and replacement costs over the years. With friendships – it is often better to choose fewer people with positive and supporting attitudes for your inner circle, rather than countless ‘surface’ friends who provide company, but not actual support and interest in you.

Another element of this is mental – when you surround yourself with quality investments – of time, of money, of emotion – you find yourself loving your life, appreciating your time, admiring the quality and handiwork of the people and things that you surround yourself with. Yes, parts of this seem superficial, but as humans we can recognise quality, beauty and genuine relationships and they do often yield significant impacts upon our mood. We do stress that material things are not the definition of life or success, but those material things that you need and love should be of a good quality to support ease and pleasure in your life. A lot of these ideas tie into the minimalism movement of having few things, but ensuring that they are both aesthetically pleasing and practically functional. What are you hoping to invest in for the near future?