Month: January 2017

A lot of us stay where we are or start something new on the back foot because we don’t recognise our own worth. It is so much easier to estimate and understand the worth of someone else because in that case you are not wrapped up in self-questioning and insecurity. The best way to get a good estimate on what you should be charging your clients? Or if you should walk away from a job or relationship that you suspect isn’t serving you anymore?

1. Talk to close friends around you that have always been supportive, but honest. They will give you a balanced idea about their opinion to consider.
2. Pretend your situation is someone else’s – compare your expectations and prices (if running a business) to those who are in a similar business. If you are offering a premium service, you should be charging premium prices. If you have very low expectations of your job or relationship, it’s time to compare it to what your realistic idea is of potential happiness in these areas.
3. Go with your ‘gut’ – if you find yourself daydreaming about creating a better life or escaping the one you have very often, it is time to move. We are incredible at adapting to new circumstances and building ourselves for the better. Avoid being stagnant!

It is very rare that all elements of our life align to make our plans work out smoothly and easily. With ample preparation, this happens more often; yet we often put off starting something as we don’t feel motivated enough or a certain element isn’t perfect at that moment. Here are 3 ways you can get started without having everything ready:

1. All plans have some step that you can take NOW.
   You can see your plan laid out before you, but you are waiting for something – your next pay check, holidays from your job for more time, a friend to join you, etc. Realistically, all our goals have things that we can act on now – whether that be creating a Facebook page for your new business, learning to run to improve your fitness, learning new skills from an online course or YouTube.
2. You learn and correct as you go.
   Some of us pause as we can sense that we will have obstacles come up along the way. WE anticipate that we will face a problem that will stop us in our tracks. If we are more realistic about this, though, we know that we are resourceful and can figure out solutions as they arise. Trust yourself!
3. Build momentum and self confidence
   The more you develop the habit and mental involvement with this task, the less it will seem to overwhelm you. You will know the next step to take and you will become excited about the progress. Starting is often the hardest part, so once you begin – stay consistent and you will realise your dream faster than you thought was possible!

It feels like many of us live our lives to avoid confrontation and criticism to protect our emotions. Sometimes, if we are doing something that brings us closer to our goal and someone you value and respect gives you feedback, we can choose to feel threatened and stop what we are doing, or see it as an opportunity to grow and improve. Here are four ways to view feedback and use it to make yourself better:

1. Feedback and criticism can highlight major obstacles in your life that stop you progressing. It can be hard for us to spot our own weaknesses, but it is an absolute gift if you have people who can give you honest direction for improvement.
2. Mostly, people are giving you feedback out of concern and support for your success. If the feedback is coming from someone you love and respect, they will have risked offending you to try to help you grow – this takes guts and shows their dedication to helping you!
3. Sit back and think about the benefits of implementing their suggestions could bring. If they haven’t managed to give you suggestions, ask them ways in which they think you could change or improve the element that they have brought up, and give it a try for a few days!
4. We are not perfect, and the more feedback that we can get from a range of people who interact with us, the better we can be in our business, our interactions and our mindset.

 

So continue your New Year journey inviting and implementing feedback! It can help to grow stronger, more honest relationship and encourage us to be better as individuals.

Today may be a day where you just don’t feel like ‘doing it’. You are mentally checking out of your goals – maybe because you are feeling tired, sore, or like nothing is happening for you. These are the days that count. The small tasks that lead you to your goal? They should be done today; irrespective of your mood. This is where the real training of your mind begins. Put your shoes on, and go for that exercise session. Turn the television off and write one more blog psot, paragraph in the program or page in the book that you are writing. Put your phone down and spend quality time with people or start organising that drawer that you’ve been throwing things in for ages. Make that healthy meal that seems so difficult in the face of takeaway. Do these things. Today is the day where, if you stick to your purpose, you will find that deeper sense of satisfaction and you will get to know a new version of yourself. The person who CAN do it, despite a ‘lack of motivation’. These are the little bits of evidence you can look back on and use to push yourself again and again to be the better you. Your goal is made up of thousands of little decisions, just like the ones today; decisions to become better. Today is not the day to give up.

 

Altruism, or the willingness to do things to bring an advantage to others, is one of the most powerful influencers in the formation of your own happiness. Countless studies have shown that people who do things for others, rather than always focusing on themselves, have a deeper sense of happiness and satisfaction that lasts. This doesn’t mean putting yourself last makes you happy. It means that the care for others is also a component of self-care. Volunteering your time, donating money to a cause you believe in, giving someone your car space, doing something thoughtful for your spouse for no reason at all – these things trigger dopamine release within the brain and flood us with a feel-good experience.

There is one HUGE condition in this, though. We all know people (or we may be one of them ourselves) who do things for people, but grow bitterness and frustration in ourselves whilst we do it. We get frustrated at the seeming lack recognition and praise. This attitude is the most damaging thing to the potentially revolutionary power of altruism. When you are doing a kind act for someone else and rolling your eyes, or showing frustration, you create an awkwardness in the other person (if they see it) and make it extremely difficult for them to appreciate the task without feeling guilt and a sense of indebtedness. The altruistic transaction is then ruined for both participants. If you do something nice for someone else, watch your own attitude. Are you allowing yourself to feel happy and light? Are you wishing the best towards the recipients? Or are you doing it automatically, or even full of resentment? Positioning our mindset is crucial in order to fill our everyday actions with purpose and joy, not just for ourselves, but also for those around us.