Month: February 2017

Many of us have people that we care for and are responsible for. But you cannot support others without burning out and growing resentment, unless you nourish yourself physically and emotionally first. No need to play the martyr and neglect yourself to everyone’s detriment. Figure out the things that you need to preserve your wellbeing and sanity and then figure out how you can assist others with the resources you have. You will be surprised at how much more you possess and are able to give when you are feeling happy and healthy.

A lot of self-help books suggest getting rid of toxic relationships and environments in our lives to help our sense of contentment, drive and success. Whilst this may be necessary sometimes in order to short out cycles of negative behaviour and emotional abuse, you also have to look at what you bring to the table.

Are you a supportive and optimistic person? Are you fun? Do you take interest in the wellbeing and happiness of others and actively support it? These are really important questions, because it isn’t up to other people to make us feel good about ourselves and our lives. That’s on us. Maybe you can even be a spark in shifting negative patterns in your situations and relationships…give it a go!

At times, life can feel like we are rushing around, trying to accomplish everything on our ‘to do’ list, rather than actually living. Yes, it is tempting to continually be working towards something and you are a productive person when you are doing important things. However, it is important to remember to incorporate the things that keep you, ‘you’. See your friends, indulge your hobbies and passions, relax and connect with yourself and the world around you in a way that uniquely suits you. Yes, our ‘to-do’ lists are important, but life is bigger than just ‘getting things done’.

Sometimes things don’t work out the way we imagined them to. It is easy to get disheartened when this happens. However, moments of unexpected shifts are the fodder for learning important lessons and undergoing extreme growth. As you would have noticed up until now in your life, things don’t happen smoothly all of the time. But if you look back, you will notice the bumps are chapters that lead you to make more meaningful connections and self-realisations. So, instead of mentally resisting and resenting change – embrace it and look for the opportunities to improve your life through it all.

A lot of us give up on our dreams because we start to work – hard – but we don’t see the fruit of our work, or we come up against a barrier. For some reason, be it the rapid speed in which we can access things, a different way of viewing the world, or some other facet of life, we don’t trust the process anymore. We are all results and no hard work. We hope that a few bursts of effort will get us to where we want to be. And after 2 or 3 ‘bursts’, we are telling ourselves that it will never work for us. We are impatient to get to the end point. However, if you speak to any successful person who seems to be living the life of ‘results’, they will attest to the thousands of hours that they had to push through – mentally and physically – to get to a point where things became slightly easier. It is the unseen process that forms you and trains you to handle success. You learn invaluable lessons about how the world operates, and your own strengths and weaknesses. That’s why self-made millionaires usually stay successful and lotto winners are broke in a few months. That’s why people who eat well and exercise stay lean and those who follow fad diets yoyo up and down. Trust and respect the process. It is arrogance to believe that you are ‘better’ than the process and can take shortcuts. It is also self-sabotage.

We’ve all heard the saying ‘nobody’s perfect’. And while we know this to be true, we believe in seeking out our own version of perfection and enjoying OUR perfect lives. This doesn’t mean that you can safeguard against catastrophe or judgement from others. These things are inevitable, no matter what you do. One thing that is guaranteed to bring you down, however, is trying to please everyone or judging people who aren’t like you. A more healthy focus is for you to work on bettering yourself and assisting those who ask you for help in things that you agree with. This way, you never compromise your own values and still contribute to the world around you.

Anticipation can be a good or bad thing. When we are counting down the days to an exciting event – a holiday, a conference, a competition, it can be filled with positive visualisations and thoroughly enjoyed. It can also be a drain on your resources if you anticipation is tinted with worry or anxiety – the Sunday night before working in a job that you don’t love, an upcoming exam, a difficult conversation that you should have with a loved one. The best way to beat this? Imagine the best possible outcome and tell yourself that there is no reason for this not to be possible; it’s true and may help to allay some of the worry that you feel.

We live in a time where almost anything can be obtained within an instant or, at most, a couple of days. Want a new outfit? Hop onto your phone and it can be delivered to you within 3 hours. Want a new job? Apply online within minutes. Most things can also be done privately from the screen on your iPhone. This means that there are unlimited opportunities available to us. However, as always, there are responsibilities and dangers that come with these opportunities. Does ordering takeout from your phone support or risk your goals for health? Does buying that new ‘it’ thing from a link in Facebook align with your budget goals for your property deposit? How about your chats with people who aren’t your partner in Snapchat? Is that flirtation worth risking your existing relationship with your significant other? These questions are important and should be at the forefront of our minds when we handle our instant gratification. Temptation is around, but we must be stronger than it if we want to succeed in all areas of life.

Sometimes we have to do things that we don’t love doing. In fact, a lot of the time we do things that we don’t love doing. But they must be done. So we can ask ourselves, “how does my attitude contribute to, or detract from, my experience?”. If you have a compulsory course or job that you have to do or aren’t enjoying – do you show up, annoyed that you have to be there? Or do you put on an optimistic attitude and be open to learning something new, having a good discussion with a classmate or simply building the practice of discipline? If your house is a mess and you really MUST clean it, do you whinge and moan in your head the whole time and spend it in drudgery – ending up doing a half-assed job anyway? Or, do you put on some good music, grab a nice drink and get to work, knowing that at the end you will feel all refreshed and satisfied at a job well done? The reality is – most things have positive elements within them that can be found and enjoyed by you, if you choose.

With a new month complete in the new year, it’s time to celebrate the victories that you’ve made. Recognise the small steps that you’ve taken towards new habits for your best life and how great you felt when you did take them. Perhaps you haven’t yet established all of the great routines that you wanted – and that’s ok. Our lives don’t always transform overnight. Today, refresh and reset. Commit to completing the small tasks that you envisioned yourself completing to create new habits. Do them early in the day and create a sense of accomplishment from the very beginning. Success isn’t about the couple of huge steps you take every once in a while, it is the everyday decision to ignore your temptation to ‘have a day off’ or listen to your highly variable emotions that tell you that you don’t ‘feel’ like it today. Simply do it – leave your emotions and excuses at the door. All you need to do is complete these actions for 21 days in a row and they will become almost second nature, and results will soon follow.