Month: March 2017

At LLUMI, we don’t pretend to have the solutions to everyone. We will never be everyone’s cup of tea. We do try to provide helpful and thought provoking ideas that we invite you to engage with to see if it resonates with, or helps, you. There is a big tendency now to be ‘bossy’ with ethics. Just because someone doesn’t have the same passions, beliefs or interests as you does not make them a horrible person. It makes them separate to you and someone to learn with and from. It’s our differences that challenge us to reconsider approaches, to appreciate our own views and to continue learning from each other. Attempting to force your ideas upon others doesn’t make them more likely to accept what you are saying. Live your life – do your thing and LOVE doing it. If people want to know more, they will ask you to share it with them and productive conversations will ensue.

We all run into problems, and we do feel the need to express our disappointment, sadness or frustration when they arise. But sometimes, we may find ourselves just wanting to find justification for feeling bad, or comfort in the situation. However, in some cases, we focus exclusively on having people make us feel better, rather than fixing the situation. That’s because sometimes removing your situation can cause more discomfort that is additional to the already uncomfortable situation. In the end, though, it will be worth it. For example, if you are being treated badly by a friend, loved one or colleague it can be tempting to simply talk about it with others to validate your anger without ever confronting the person or making arrangements to alter the level of contact that you have with them. Be careful that you spend your energies in ways that are productive, not just conciliatory.

We often idealise certain scenarios – many of us reinvent stories of our past for ourselves so that we look back and reminisce and compare our current stress with a seeming ‘perfection’ of yesterday. In reality, the past had its own confusions and complexities and you were not as personally developed as you are now. In fact, there are reasons you moved on from that stage in your life – something drove you elsewhere and there were things you needed to learn and do.  Another thing that we do is come to the conclusion that our life would be better if we had a boy/girlfriend, kids, a better job, a different home. It may be, but that doesn’t mean that your life is worthless now and you should deprive yourself of joy in this season and on your path to gaining those things.

No matter what your viewpoint on life is – if you are ‘destined’ for certain things, or you ‘create your own destiny’, there are still two essential ingredients: optimism and action. No matter what the circumstances, you have room to improve and learn by looking at things positively and acting in accordance to your new understandings. Nothing is gained by looking at things negatively. Rather, find the opportunity to build resilience, apply new learning and carry on as a smarter, tougher, kinder person.

Going through your daily habits and working towards your bigger goals is fantastic, but sometimes we can get stuck in a rut. Days can blend into each other, time slips by without anything remarkable happening. How do we keep that balance of ensuring that we stay on track, but also enjoy our lives and have spontaneity? Make sure that you have something great to look forward to once a day, once a week and once a month. Make your daily enjoyment something simple that brings you joy – reading part of a book, doing a great exercise class, listening to a podcast, etc. Your once a week treat could be a great meal with friends, a trip to the theatre, a day trip into the city or a museum and your once a month could be a weekend away camping, a day where you don’t do anything but stay in bed, it really is up to you. Just make sure that your emotional cup is full, so that you can continue to keep going and avoid burnout.

While we should all know our infinite and unique worth, we should be just as aware of the weaknesses in our habits and character that prevent us from being the best versions of ourselves possible. When we look at our weaknesses, they can seem overwhelming. So just commit to being better for today. That’s it. You might want to practice controlling your temper with co-workers/loved ones/family/friends, you might commit to exercising – just for today. You might want to eat well – just for today. You might want to do your best at work or study – just for today. You might need to relax – just for today. Let tomorrow take care of itself. Focus on what you can do. Now.

Are there things in your life that are unnecessarily complicated but you put up with them because they are part of your ‘normal’. Perhaps it’s a friend who is constantly taking from you without ever giving back, perhaps it’s a job that you dislike, your home is chaotic, perhaps you have taken on way too much. Look through the way you spend your time and money – what could be streamlined to take out the mental, physical and emotional clutter in your life? Could something chaotic be simplified, streamlined or removed? Try it out for a week and see if it brings you more peace. You may decide to get rid of it forever.

Many of us put up with less than desirable (and sometimes plain awful) situations because we are hesitant to express ourselves and say that the situation is making us unhappy. So, we trudge along – giving the impression that all is fine. What situations would you address if you had all of the confidence in the world? What is stopping you? What are you afraid of? How do YOU contribute to keeping this situations as they are? It’s time to re-evaluate where you stand and why you stand there.

Our lives are a string of individual moments and decisions. Nothing is permanent. Each day, you have a whole set of new moments that you can strongly influence to go in your favour. Yes, habits make these decisions easier, but you have the same power to decide as the most successful person in the world. The same also goes for when chaos enters your life. Imagine a still pond in your mind. Then imagine throwing a large stone into that stillness. Yes, there are small waves and ripples – chaos. However, as the rock sinks, the ripple ebb and flow away and it is as if the rock has always been there. Calm is restored. If you look back on other major events in your life, you may notice a similar pattern – the extreme emotions and confusion that first arise, and then as time passes, you grow and expand to become accustomed to the new situation, or it disappears in significance entirely. Take heart from this message if you are going through something difficult at the moment. Nothing is permanent. You have overcome everything in your life so far. You will continue to overcome.

We all have people in our lives that we look up to, and sometimes we implement their advice into our own lives so as to act on their influence in our routines. However, we must take into account our own unique identity when designing our days. If you are not (and never have been) a morning person and your body struggles for more than 30 days in a row of trying to wake up and do certain tasks before daylight, reconsider the timing of these routines. You may be more effective at night when all of your thoughts and energy are at a peak. If you are someone who likes to take their time to do things properly, don’t rush through your daily chores and multitask just because someone told you to. You will be much more satisfied and productive doing it your way. You will find a flow that works for you – try things in a different way, yes, but if you feel a continual resistance from deep down for more than 30 days, it may be time to switch up the manner and timing of your routine.