Author: llumiaustralia

Sometimes in life we are offered life-altering options. Whether it be a new job, new housing situation, new friends or the addition of family members: we stand at a crossroads. We try to imagine our new life if we take on the unfamiliar – will we miss what we have now? Will this new decision destroy part of what we have now? These are valid and important questions that should be thought through with great care. Rushing into huge decisions doesn’t do any good. However, sometimes, if you know deep down that this new change will be great for you in the long run, it’s time to take it. If you feel it is unethical or will cut into what you value most, be open to other options and gratefully give this one a miss.

There is one thing that is missing from many of our lives – downtime. We find ourselves rushing around from task to task, appointment to appointment. Our brains are constantly engaged, so that even when we are doing something, our minds are on the tasks we should be accomplishing in the future. The problem with this is that it trains us to never be fully present or fully relaxed. We train ourselves so that we are unable to relax and disconnect fully. When we do get downtime, we feel uncomfortable, unproductive, bored. So we open our phones and begin the relentless scrolling of social media. Unfortunately, this ‘relaxation’ doesn’t allow your brain time to stop and process, either. Studies have shown that the more time spent on social media correlates with higher rates of depression and dissatisfaction with life. So, try to take at least 10 minutes out of your day today and do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Allow your mind to stop and rest. It could be on the bus or train on the way to work, or 10 minutes before you get out of bed or go to sleep. See if it helps you and how you feel afterwards.

Most of us are well-acquainted with our tendency to do every task except the one that we should be doing. However, we can harness the motivation to suddenly clean out your wardrobe instead of getting that work or study report done, the urge to bake instead of go through the kitchen cupboards and sort things out. We do this through alternation: Allow yourself to complete one step of your ‘procrastination preference’ (i.e. going through your shirts) and then commit to doing one step of your important task (the introduction of the report). Once you have finished the first step of your important task, if you see that you are ‘on a roll’, continue with it. If not, allow yourself to do one more step of your procrastination preference, and then come back to do one more step of your important task. Often, the desire to finish the procrastination preference will lead you to get the important task done or at least get you started so that you are ready to continue on.

When we are feeling worried, we often have ‘go-to’ reactions. Some of use ignore the source of the worry, stuffing the unpaid bills somewhere out of sight and out of mind. Some of us ruminate – throwing the worry over and over in our minds until it consumes most of our thoughts and, also, our physical bodies. Some of us create plans of attack and may ‘shop it out’ by trying to get every possession possible so that we can ‘be prepared’ (I’m looking at you, pregnant ladies 😉 ! Do you think that these things make the problem smaller, or our lives more effective? Perhaps a healthier option is to confront the problem head on and make a solid and scheduled plan to rectify or eliminate it. Call the Credit Card company and work out a plan, then set up a direct debit payment. Make a call to the person in your life that you’ve disagreed with, or simply accept to go your separate ways and find peace with that. Sign up to a gym or online fitness program and start working on that increasing your fitness. All of these things are small, simple steps that will help to alleviate the negative effects of worry.

We all have a to-do list – whether it is on paper, in our phone, or running around in our minds. But the daily tasks that we spend so much of our time on need to be reviewed constantly. Do they add meaning to your life? Do they get you closer to where you want or need to be? What steps do you need to add in or remove in order to progress that little bit every day?

A lot of us rush to get things done – to tick things off our to-do list. However, research shows that when we are multitasking and rushing, we often take much more time to do something than if we gave each task our full attention and a sense of mindfulness. In independent experiments, people produced work and tasks at a much higher quality and a more efficient rate this way. If you are rushing to clean your house, for example, as it isn’t a priority area for you (or something that you enjoy), rushing could lead you to spill things, knock things over and do a less-than-effective job. Similarly with work and study, rushing can lead to problems in the future due to errors, courses of action that weren’t thoroughly thought through, and more. So try to slow down and be conscious of each task that you are doing – in work, social life, home life – and watch your effectiveness grow.

A lot of emphasis surrounds ‘feeling good’ in order to qualify ourselves as ‘happy’. This is a very subjective measure, as it is dictated by so many unrelated and changeable factors. Further research into positive psychology has redefined a measure by which we can measure our satisfaction in life: a sense of meaning, the experience of flow and the emotional side of feeling positive about our lives all work in collaboration for a deeper satisfaction with life. Thus, pursuing your long-term goals may not ‘feel’ great at the time, but is bringing you flow and meaning to lead you closer to a sense of fulfilment.

Imagine: At the end of your life you meet the person that you were meant to have been. In your mind, does meeting this ‘version’ of yourself fill you with hope or dread? Do you think that you are being all that you can be? Taking all the opportunities that you should be taking? If you could look back from that moment, what would you be telling your present self right now? Sometimes it is useful to think of this perspective when evaluating our decisions and behaviours to refocus on what really matters in life.

Research of the body and brain has come a long way in the last 15 years. More and more, we are finding that our body adapts to what it determines our needs to be, based on our habits. For example, if you used to study very hard and were able to thread together amazing written works, it is necessary to keep practicing this skill to ensure that the pathways in your brain are not seen as ‘dead space’ and disposed of by the chemical cleaners that are installed. The same goes for muscle tissue and physical skill sets – what once felt easy and natural may be extremely difficult to return to after a long break. The good news? Our brain is capable of re-creating new pathways all throughout our lives to build new skills and habits- sometimes even more efficiently than before. What more reason to continue to  learn and build new skills?

It is easy to get stuck in a rut. We are biologically programmed to follow habitual behaviour in order to streamline our thought-processes. However, sometimes our habits are not in our best interests. If you are a parent or involved in any social group – you can become a healthier example. Whether you decide to start eating better, exercising more or being a more positive person, you can be a person of positive influence. We have just started a new month. What element of your life would you like to improve in the next 30 or so days? Could you aim to eat at least 2 healthy meals per day if you aren’t eating well? Could you aim to fit in 3 of your favourite exercise classes a week? A walk each morning of evening? Give a compliment to 3 different people each day? Give it a go – just for a month. Only good can come of it.