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A weird rule to live by – and amongst sayings that our grandparents may have passed down once upon a time. A very close friend gave us a beautifully framed list of 100 commandments for our family and they vary in many ways. From ’22 Get sand between your toes’ to ’81 Reuse and Recycle’. The key message is this: find luxury in the simple things. ‘68 Never buy cheap toilet paper’ and ‘38 Wear good underwear’ are symbolic reminders that the small things in life are luxury. We can get so caught up in being frugal and saving for the never-arriving future that we forget to enjoy the present and to live a beautiful life in the moments that are ours and in things that only we know about. These things aren’t the things that we share on social media, but small joys that remind us that we value ourselves and feel unashamed to live well in our own quiet confidence. What would your commandments be to live your luxurious life?

Do you want to build a daily habit but you tend to postpone and procrastinate instead to getting it done. At the end of the day, do you look back and cement in your mind that this habit isn’t possible, because ANOTHER day has gone by and you haven’t done it? Our advice is to get onto it first thing in the morning. Get up early if you have kids or other distractions and just hammer it out before life starts and excuses and distractions get in the way. This will erase that self-defeating mental pattern of telling yourself that this habit ‘isn’t for you’ because you keep avoiding it. It starts to change your thinking patterns and it tells you that you are someone who gets things done and that every habit is achievable.

A lot of us stay where we are or start something new on the back foot because we don’t recognise our own worth. It is so much easier to estimate and understand the worth of someone else because in that case you are not wrapped up in self-questioning and insecurity. The best way to get a good estimate on what you should be charging your clients? Or if you should walk away from a job or relationship that you suspect isn’t serving you anymore?

1. Talk to close friends around you that have always been supportive, but honest. They will give you a balanced idea about their opinion to consider.
2. Pretend your situation is someone else’s – compare your expectations and prices (if running a business) to those who are in a similar business. If you are offering a premium service, you should be charging premium prices. If you have very low expectations of your job or relationship, it’s time to compare it to what your realistic idea is of potential happiness in these areas.
3. Go with your ‘gut’ – if you find yourself daydreaming about creating a better life or escaping the one you have very often, it is time to move. We are incredible at adapting to new circumstances and building ourselves for the better. Avoid being stagnant!

It is very rare that all elements of our life align to make our plans work out smoothly and easily. With ample preparation, this happens more often; yet we often put off starting something as we don’t feel motivated enough or a certain element isn’t perfect at that moment. Here are 3 ways you can get started without having everything ready:

1. All plans have some step that you can take NOW.
   You can see your plan laid out before you, but you are waiting for something – your next pay check, holidays from your job for more time, a friend to join you, etc. Realistically, all our goals have things that we can act on now – whether that be creating a Facebook page for your new business, learning to run to improve your fitness, learning new skills from an online course or YouTube.
2. You learn and correct as you go.
   Some of us pause as we can sense that we will have obstacles come up along the way. WE anticipate that we will face a problem that will stop us in our tracks. If we are more realistic about this, though, we know that we are resourceful and can figure out solutions as they arise. Trust yourself!
3. Build momentum and self confidence
   The more you develop the habit and mental involvement with this task, the less it will seem to overwhelm you. You will know the next step to take and you will become excited about the progress. Starting is often the hardest part, so once you begin – stay consistent and you will realise your dream faster than you thought was possible!

It feels like many of us live our lives to avoid confrontation and criticism to protect our emotions. Sometimes, if we are doing something that brings us closer to our goal and someone you value and respect gives you feedback, we can choose to feel threatened and stop what we are doing, or see it as an opportunity to grow and improve. Here are four ways to view feedback and use it to make yourself better:

1. Feedback and criticism can highlight major obstacles in your life that stop you progressing. It can be hard for us to spot our own weaknesses, but it is an absolute gift if you have people who can give you honest direction for improvement.
2. Mostly, people are giving you feedback out of concern and support for your success. If the feedback is coming from someone you love and respect, they will have risked offending you to try to help you grow – this takes guts and shows their dedication to helping you!
3. Sit back and think about the benefits of implementing their suggestions could bring. If they haven’t managed to give you suggestions, ask them ways in which they think you could change or improve the element that they have brought up, and give it a try for a few days!
4. We are not perfect, and the more feedback that we can get from a range of people who interact with us, the better we can be in our business, our interactions and our mindset.

 

So continue your New Year journey inviting and implementing feedback! It can help to grow stronger, more honest relationship and encourage us to be better as individuals.

Today may be a day where you just don’t feel like ‘doing it’. You are mentally checking out of your goals – maybe because you are feeling tired, sore, or like nothing is happening for you. These are the days that count. The small tasks that lead you to your goal? They should be done today; irrespective of your mood. This is where the real training of your mind begins. Put your shoes on, and go for that exercise session. Turn the television off and write one more blog psot, paragraph in the program or page in the book that you are writing. Put your phone down and spend quality time with people or start organising that drawer that you’ve been throwing things in for ages. Make that healthy meal that seems so difficult in the face of takeaway. Do these things. Today is the day where, if you stick to your purpose, you will find that deeper sense of satisfaction and you will get to know a new version of yourself. The person who CAN do it, despite a ‘lack of motivation’. These are the little bits of evidence you can look back on and use to push yourself again and again to be the better you. Your goal is made up of thousands of little decisions, just like the ones today; decisions to become better. Today is not the day to give up.

 

Altruism, or the willingness to do things to bring an advantage to others, is one of the most powerful influencers in the formation of your own happiness. Countless studies have shown that people who do things for others, rather than always focusing on themselves, have a deeper sense of happiness and satisfaction that lasts. This doesn’t mean putting yourself last makes you happy. It means that the care for others is also a component of self-care. Volunteering your time, donating money to a cause you believe in, giving someone your car space, doing something thoughtful for your spouse for no reason at all – these things trigger dopamine release within the brain and flood us with a feel-good experience.

There is one HUGE condition in this, though. We all know people (or we may be one of them ourselves) who do things for people, but grow bitterness and frustration in ourselves whilst we do it. We get frustrated at the seeming lack recognition and praise. This attitude is the most damaging thing to the potentially revolutionary power of altruism. When you are doing a kind act for someone else and rolling your eyes, or showing frustration, you create an awkwardness in the other person (if they see it) and make it extremely difficult for them to appreciate the task without feeling guilt and a sense of indebtedness. The altruistic transaction is then ruined for both participants. If you do something nice for someone else, watch your own attitude. Are you allowing yourself to feel happy and light? Are you wishing the best towards the recipients? Or are you doing it automatically, or even full of resentment? Positioning our mindset is crucial in order to fill our everyday actions with purpose and joy, not just for ourselves, but also for those around us.

Ok  – so the new year is upon us. For many readers, this will also signal a new version of you – you’ve imagined a new style of life for a while, set your intentions or resolutions and you’ve decided to bring in the new year with a new you in mind. But now it’s D-Day. It’s time to start. Some will be full of motivation and try to get everything done TODAY, pushing themselves so hard that they may find that they fatigue early (after a few days). Others may feel anxiety, fear and a general desire to procrastinate and postpone their new resolutions because of these feelings. The best way to combat that? Imagine 3 months from now if you do small steps every day. Is it starting to save for something important? Imagine your goal. Prepare for success by setting up a direct debit into savings from your payday and allocating this before you have a chance to spend. Is it exercise? Start slowly, do one session. Book in the rest of the sessions for the week. You don’t have to run a marathon on your first day (in fact, it isn’t advised!). Building your own business? Plan out the tasks that need to be completed in a sequential order (if you don’t know a step, make that next step to research and find out!) and plot them into your diary or planner. The best way to guarantee results is to prepare the mindset of doing something purposeful each day. It doesn’t have to be an enormous task, but a small step of progress each day. Some days, you will feel like continuing on after taking a small step – time will disappear and you will get much more done than you planned. Others, you will simply battle through your one small step. But you will have taken it, nevertheless. The collection of small steps, taking one step at a time trains you into purposeful habits that blossom into the lifestyle that you envisioned when you set your intentions. So, don’t feel that the deadline to achieve your goal is January 2^nd. You are changing your life to something better – take the time and care to do it properly.

Many of us are gearing up for a New Year, and whether you have ‘New Years Resolutions’ or not, it is always nice to feel as though you have a fresh start to work from. We have ideas about financial growth, increased health and spending time with those significant people in our lives without distractions of phones, work, absent-mindedness. However, it is not about lifting a veil tomorrow morning and BOOM you are a new person. It must be a whole-life commitment to gradual improvement and mindful encouragement of yourself. Instead of viewing your new habits as deprivations, see them as building the habits and characteristics that you admire and envision for yourself. Prepare yourself for the motivational slumps and busy times by sitting and imagining/visualising yourself facing up to that habit despite tiredness, boredom, temptation. These imaginings should be visceral – What do you see? What time of day is it? What are the physical and internal feelings that you are experiencing? How do you overcome the voices in your head telling you that ‘one day/week won’t hurt’? Plan for the hard times in your mind before you begin, as it forges mental pathways for the future, so that your mind will recognise the situation and remember the way of persistence, rather than simply giving in. We at LLUMI wish you a VERY Happy New Year, with powerful new beginnings and continuations of great habits and prosperity for the coming 2017.

As you begin or continue to plan and work towards your goals, it is a good idea to make them well known to supportive friends and family. I emphasise the word supportive, as the loving people that we know who are optimistic will encourage you to pursue your dreams and won’t attempt to reason you out of it with their own limiting beliefs. They will give you encouragement, ask about your progress to keep you accountable and also align their time with you so as not to contradict your goals (i.e. they might agree to start going for walks with you instead of indulgent breakfasts if you are aiming at improving your health). If you do come across people who tell you that you are aiming too high, these people are fabulous for helping you to identify potential road blocks and mentally prepare for them – ask for their advice as to how they think you might be able to overcome the problems that they see in your way. Our pragmatic friends may then also see that your goals are possible and may not be so critical about them. It’ also a great idea to keep your goals in plain view where you will continue to see them and build them into your reality subconsciously. Envision yourself ticking off or crossing out these goals one by one throughout the next year and the amazing sense of accomplishment that you will feel for achieving them – and sharing this great news with your friends and loved ones! Don’t tuck away your goals or be ashamed of them – be proud and make them well-known so that you can get as much help and support as possible!