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There is a lot of emphasis on ‘finding your true self’ and while some aspects of this are encouraging, so you are not merely trying to live up to others’ expectations, it is healthy for your ‘true’ self to continually evolve. Thus, finding yourself isn’t a one-off event, but a constant manner of tuning in to your deepest needs and desires in your current situation. This means recognising seasons where you need rest and where you should grow. Resting in one place for too long without new revelations leads us to a place of becoming stagnant. It is nourishing for our human nature to continually seek what is next – but many of us think of this in terms of gaining the next material possession, rather than developing the self. Our minds become steadfast in outdated and repetitive thinking patterns. Choose to take an action today that will develop your physical, intellectual or emotional spheres – introduce yourself to someone new, sign up to a bootcamp, enrol in a course, research something from a different point of view to the one you hold now. Keep growing.

The way we explain our lives to ourselves and others has a profound impact on our path going forward. We all have collections of experiences that vary from disastrous and regrettable to beautiful and momentous. If you talk to someone and describe your life as a series of struggles and hardships without deeply acknowledging the lucky, wonderful moments, you are doing an injustice to your journey. The past is your past. The only purpose that it can possibly serve is to make you greater now and in the future. Learn the lessons that you need to learn and interpret them in a positive frame for yourself. It is harmful to carry memories like stones on your back. Reminding yourself of the great things that have happened and the positive responses that you have from overcoming adversity gives more power to your ‘right now’.

Many of us have people that we care for and are responsible for. But you cannot support others without burning out and growing resentment, unless you nourish yourself physically and emotionally first. No need to play the martyr and neglect yourself to everyone’s detriment. Figure out the things that you need to preserve your wellbeing and sanity and then figure out how you can assist others with the resources you have. You will be surprised at how much more you possess and are able to give when you are feeling happy and healthy.

A lot of self-help books suggest getting rid of toxic relationships and environments in our lives to help our sense of contentment, drive and success. Whilst this may be necessary sometimes in order to short out cycles of negative behaviour and emotional abuse, you also have to look at what you bring to the table.

Are you a supportive and optimistic person? Are you fun? Do you take interest in the wellbeing and happiness of others and actively support it? These are really important questions, because it isn’t up to other people to make us feel good about ourselves and our lives. That’s on us. Maybe you can even be a spark in shifting negative patterns in your situations and relationships…give it a go!

At times, life can feel like we are rushing around, trying to accomplish everything on our ‘to do’ list, rather than actually living. Yes, it is tempting to continually be working towards something and you are a productive person when you are doing important things. However, it is important to remember to incorporate the things that keep you, ‘you’. See your friends, indulge your hobbies and passions, relax and connect with yourself and the world around you in a way that uniquely suits you. Yes, our ‘to-do’ lists are important, but life is bigger than just ‘getting things done’.

Sometimes things don’t work out the way we imagined them to. It is easy to get disheartened when this happens. However, moments of unexpected shifts are the fodder for learning important lessons and undergoing extreme growth. As you would have noticed up until now in your life, things don’t happen smoothly all of the time. But if you look back, you will notice the bumps are chapters that lead you to make more meaningful connections and self-realisations. So, instead of mentally resisting and resenting change – embrace it and look for the opportunities to improve your life through it all.

A lot of us give up on our dreams because we start to work – hard – but we don’t see the fruit of our work, or we come up against a barrier. For some reason, be it the rapid speed in which we can access things, a different way of viewing the world, or some other facet of life, we don’t trust the process anymore. We are all results and no hard work. We hope that a few bursts of effort will get us to where we want to be. And after 2 or 3 ‘bursts’, we are telling ourselves that it will never work for us. We are impatient to get to the end point. However, if you speak to any successful person who seems to be living the life of ‘results’, they will attest to the thousands of hours that they had to push through – mentally and physically – to get to a point where things became slightly easier. It is the unseen process that forms you and trains you to handle success. You learn invaluable lessons about how the world operates, and your own strengths and weaknesses. That’s why self-made millionaires usually stay successful and lotto winners are broke in a few months. That’s why people who eat well and exercise stay lean and those who follow fad diets yoyo up and down. Trust and respect the process. It is arrogance to believe that you are ‘better’ than the process and can take shortcuts. It is also self-sabotage.

We’ve all heard the saying ‘nobody’s perfect’. And while we know this to be true, we believe in seeking out our own version of perfection and enjoying OUR perfect lives. This doesn’t mean that you can safeguard against catastrophe or judgement from others. These things are inevitable, no matter what you do. One thing that is guaranteed to bring you down, however, is trying to please everyone or judging people who aren’t like you. A more healthy focus is for you to work on bettering yourself and assisting those who ask you for help in things that you agree with. This way, you never compromise your own values and still contribute to the world around you.

Anticipation can be a good or bad thing. When we are counting down the days to an exciting event – a holiday, a conference, a competition, it can be filled with positive visualisations and thoroughly enjoyed. It can also be a drain on your resources if you anticipation is tinted with worry or anxiety – the Sunday night before working in a job that you don’t love, an upcoming exam, a difficult conversation that you should have with a loved one. The best way to beat this? Imagine the best possible outcome and tell yourself that there is no reason for this not to be possible; it’s true and may help to allay some of the worry that you feel.

We live in a time where almost anything can be obtained within an instant or, at most, a couple of days. Want a new outfit? Hop onto your phone and it can be delivered to you within 3 hours. Want a new job? Apply online within minutes. Most things can also be done privately from the screen on your iPhone. This means that there are unlimited opportunities available to us. However, as always, there are responsibilities and dangers that come with these opportunities. Does ordering takeout from your phone support or risk your goals for health? Does buying that new ‘it’ thing from a link in Facebook align with your budget goals for your property deposit? How about your chats with people who aren’t your partner in Snapchat? Is that flirtation worth risking your existing relationship with your significant other? These questions are important and should be at the forefront of our minds when we handle our instant gratification. Temptation is around, but we must be stronger than it if we want to succeed in all areas of life.