Inspiration Blog

It is all too easy to place the blame for things that go wrong in life, in relationships, at work on outer circumstances and the seeming failures of others. It is much simpler to identify character flaws in others while turning a blind eye to our own weaknesses and destructive habits. It is so important to look at the situations that frustrate us and identify where we have let ourselves down, where we have reacted inappropriately, where our ideology has served to put us in an undesirable state. We form patterns and habits in our brains based on our perceptions of past experiences. This is a survival mechanism, but it can also trap up in negative and destructive ways of thinking. In relationships, for example, if you have been hurt before it may be a habit for you to expect others to hurt you in the future, and so you are overly guarded and constantly looking for ways in which the person will potentially hurt you; breaking down the potential of a fulfilling and satisfying situation. At work, if you have convinced yourself that you ‘hate this job’, you are hardly going to be looking for positive ways that it impacts your life, the things you would miss if you left and also ways to enhance your skills and abilities through your work. So, before you start rapid-firing at the things and circumstances around you, recognise your weaknesses and assess them for their validity. Have you done everything that you can to change it? If it is still not working, is it best to leave or have a significant conversation with someone? You are never truly ‘stuck’. We are infinitely adaptable and especially in our modern society, our situations are extremely free and flexible – make that most of that!

People who work in hired storage space will tell you one thing – most people who store things there never come and get them again. We often convince ourselves that we need to keep things for ‘one day’ or for sentimental reasons when they clutter our lives without bringing value to it. There are ways to keep things such as old photographs, DVDs, CDs – individuals and businesses can transfer or scan them all onto a drive or into the cloud so that they can be preserved and accessed easily. In your home space, try taking all of the clutter out of the room and place it in a box for 1 week or a fortnight. If you don’t need anything or miss anything, it’s time to re-gift, donate, or recycle. You will be amazed at how much lighter and calmer your space feels (and how much easier it is to clean!). This process works just as well with clothes, jobs, habits, junk food and everything else in life. Abstain from them for 1-2 weeks and, if their absence is not detrimental to your life – it’s time to reconsider their importance.

A lot of us live in a hurry – and we put off basic health needs, such as seeing a physio or doctor about a niggling issue, we don’t visit our dentist regularly, we keep delaying an appointment with a nutritionist or signing up for a training regime because we can’t justify the expense. However, your body is the only thing that you depend on to get you through everything else. Living in a denial about your health, hoping that it will fix itself or just ‘be fine’ is like allowing your elite sports car to run without servicing, oil changes, pumping the tyres or refuelling with quality petrol. You can’t expect it to last long or to perform well. Take stock of your physical state now – are all your muscles, joints and postures feeling the way they should? How long has it been since you had a general check-up? Have you been to a skin cancer doctor in the last year? Make a list of things that you should have checked and fixed and call and make the appointments today. You will feel a huge weight come off your shoulders instead of a daily annoyance or subconscious worry about your health. Sign up to that fitness regime, or start the program that was written for you. There is no time like now to make a start.

Image Credit: Lorna Jane

There are many tasks in life that we don’t love doing – perhaps it is washing your car, cleaning the house, or even your job! However, if you have allocated time for a task, you may as well do the job to the best of your ability. You’re already there, putting in the time – why not do something that you are proud of. Someone once told me that every action we do holds our signature – do you want to know yourself as someone who does things half-heartedly, in a rush, or with no thought as to the quality of your work? Or do you want to make the impression, on yourself and others, that whatever you do, you do it well? If you show up for an hour’s workout session – you’re tired and it was a real struggle to get there. How do you think you will feel if you do a half-hearted effort? How will you feel if you put in everything you’ve got? Same amount of time spent – totally different outcome. At your work – is your reputation one that speaks highly of you and the quality and integrity of your output? What do you think of yourself and the things you produce? These are important questions, because even if you are performing mundane tasks, you are training yourself to expect certain standards of quality from yourself. So that one day, may your circumstances change and you are doing something very important (or you do important things every day), your brain is already in the habit of setting high standards and giving it your best shot. This goes a lot way with willpower, dedication and resilience in tough situations. Review your dedication to the everyday, less-enjoyable tasks in your life – what does it say about you?

All of us have things to be grateful for in our lives; however, sometimes we get caught up in chasing the next step that we forget to appreciate what we have done and how far we have come. Another casualty of this are the people around us who have given love, dedication, help and support. In fact, it is often those who are closest to us and who help us the most that get neglected by us, as something in our mind takes them for granted as we become accustomed to the help that they provide and it becomes part of our ‘normal’. This is a dangerous place to be, as these people may begin to feel used and disrespected and withdraw this loving support. Now, this is not a message to encourage superficial relationships so that you can get them to do things for you, but more of a reminder to re-examine the fantastic people in your life and realise the contribution that they bring to you. The next step is to thank them and connect with them deeply and appreciatively and foster these relationships with your support people. We often spend so much time and energy ‘chasing’ people who have little regard for us – the problematic ‘on again off again’ boy/girlfriend, the constantly dissatisfied boss, the neglecting friend – but rarely do we pour love and appreciation and energy onto those people who are truly there for us when it counts, even when you have very little to give. So, this Christmas season, perhaps it’s a good idea to reallocate your time and creative gifting to those who have always been there to support you.

People are designed to be social beings, that is a core principal our humanity. As with anything, however, this can be shifted into a dangerous manifestation when people begin to depend too much on others to have their needs met. Emotionally, this may be an individual who feels that they NEED someone to give them love so that they can love themselves. Or it could be the person who documents a manufactured façade of their life onto social media and then does not feel fulfilled unless they gain a certain amount of praise or recognition. This can also happen in financial situations – people get ‘stuck’ in relationships or jobs because they can’t afford the period of uncertainty or the initial outlay to leave their current circumstances. In these situations, it is the centre of control or satisfaction outside the individual that causes these problems. It is important for us to take responsibility for ourselves, put that money aside each week, find flexible work hours, work on loving yourself and building that self respect and independence through meditation, supportive conversations with friends and counsellors and making sure that you can ‘do you’ no matter what life throws at you.

With the changing of the seasons, it is important to update and clear out your physical spaces and possessions – this should be done in areas that you spend significant amounts of time, such as home and work. Systematically work through everything that you own, either by making a step-by-step list that spans a month, or dedicating a couple of days to a complete overhaul of your spaces. It is a good idea to be ruthless – fix things that are broken, alter clothes that do not fit, donate all good quality items that are no longer of use and do not serve you. Lastly, try to recycle things that are irreparable, in bad condition, etc. The mental clarity of clutter-free spaces has a huge impact upon your mood and thought processes in general. It can be much simpler to do this each change of season, so that you do not have an enormous workload with cleaning each time and you remain conscious of what you allow back into your space. There are many instructional videos on YouTube that assist you in getting organised and de-cluttering your life – you may like to use these as inspiration. It is not simply about throwing things away, but acquiring and keeping a few key pieces that work in harmony together and bring your space a sense of calm, inspiration and happiness. Happy sorting!

It is important to rise to meet challenges that the world gives to you, or that you set yourself, somewhat regularly in your life. In saying that, the challenges that you give your energy to should only be ones that align with your goals and who you want to be as a person. The challenges absorb a lot of time and emotion, so attempting to take on a challenge that has very little to directly contribute to your personal development is essentially a procrastination and a waste. However, when you do choose to build yourself to overcome something that feels as though it is looming before you, it helps to sit down and remind yourself of your strengths and look at how they can be applied to this situation. Get out of piece of paper and write down all of the steps that are required for the task and all of the struggles that you anticipate that you may face when attempting to complete it. Then, next to each struggle, list a virtue that you have, such as determination or organisation, that will help you to overcome it. Then, on a separate list, write down the virtues that following through with this challenge will build in you. These could be self-control, confidence, increased understanding, etc. When you have mapped out these challenges physically and clearly demonstrated what it will require of you, your ability to succeed and the rewards in character that you will benefit from, the task becomes much more motivating and your success levels skyrocket. Give it a go, perhaps with your new resolutions that you are considering for 2017.

There are many personality types in the world and the way in which we respond to the unexpected and the unknown often show us a lot about ourselves. These reactions can vary depending on our stress and rest levels, circumstances and general mood of the day. However, a positive reaction to change, especially the unexpected, can do a lot to train your brain to become resilient and more positive in general. For example, if you experience poor customer service unexpectedly one day and it costs you time, money and emotional energy, you have two options – you can let it bug you all day and repeat the story to many people, escalating those negative emotions and letting them leak into the rest of your life. On the other hand, you can acknowledge that it was inconvenient, seek resolution instantly and then consciously decide to move on and purposefully enjoy the rest of your day so that not another moment is taken up with that negativity. This takes a large amount of willpower, but adheres to the idea that grudges and resentment are a poison only to those that hold it, and not the cause or object of the emotions. It is detrimental to your physical, emotional and mental health to continue to ruminate on negative experiences and shows an extraordinary maturity if you can acknowledge the experience and detach it from the rest of your life. This can also apply to situations with difficult co-workers or family members, inconsiderate drivers in traffic, rude strangers and offensive social media posts. Remember, you do not have to react to everything – and if you do react, you do not need to continue to engage emotionally with that subject in your mind once your reaction has been completed.

The way you speak and behave in all situations has a profound impact upon your mental state and deeper emotions. This is not simply concerning the way that you speak to and about yourself, but also about others. If the words you express are generally negative, you contribute to a sense that life is dissatisfactory and your mood soon follows. This principle also arises in the impressions that other people have of us. People build emotional ‘sketches’ of us based on the interactions that we have with them, the language (verbal and non-verbal) that we share and the attitudes that we have about life and other people. If you can consciously alter your language and behaviour to recognise positives in situations and people, your self-esteem will begin to rise, your appreciation for life and mindfulness will increase and others will be drawn to your positivity and vitality. This isn’t about repressing negative emotion, one can recognise, experience and express sadness, fear, disappointment and these other ‘negative’ emotions whilst also highlighting potential lessons learned, acknowledging that these feelings will pass and brainstorming potential positive solutions and outcomes. This is good practice to avoid negative emotional spirals and destructively negative relationships. Being a positive ingredient benefits yourself and others around you in extremely powerful ways and is one of the simplest remedies to combat the blues.